what it's like..

being bi-polar isn't something that can be explained...the highs are too highand the lows are crippling. your brain runs on energy you never knew you had while your emotions are almost always on empty. The people you "love" don't actually exist. A lot of the love you think you have is just a figment of your imagination, that you hold onto because you are so afraid of change. You find someone who loves you even when you are a basket case and they love you more than you deserve so you hold onto them. You keep them wanting you even when they deserve better because you don't know how to survive without them.. You don't really love anyone except your personalities... the people you pretend to be so that you can get through the day. Whether it's the happy go lucky guest service agent at a hotel that would do anything to make other people happy or a terrible girlfriend who has cheated and broken promise after promise and faked confessions and apologizies. There is nothing you can do but pretend you are okay...Life is different for those who are different psychologically and I wish I could change my brain...My brain doesn't work like yours...and it never will.