28.7.14

what it's like..

being bi-polar isn't something that can be explained...the highs are too highand the lows are crippling. your brain runs on energy you never knew you had while your emotions are almost always on empty. The people you "love" don't actually exist. A lot of the love you think you have is just a figment of your imagination, that you hold onto because you are so afraid of change. You find someone who loves you even when you are a basket case and they love you more than you deserve so you hold onto them. You keep them wanting you even when they deserve better because you don't know how to survive without them.. You don't really love anyone except your personalities... the people you pretend to be so that you can get through the day. Whether it's the happy go lucky guest service agent at a hotel that would do anything to make other people happy or a terrible girlfriend who has cheated and broken promise after promise and faked confessions and apologizies. There is nothing you can do but pretend you are okay...Life is different for those who are different psychologically and I wish I could change my brain...My brain doesn't work like yours...and it never will. 

8.2.14

You ought to spend a little more time trying to make something of yourself
and a little less time trying to impress people.
Love is a behavior; not a feeling it's the way somebody treats you everyday, 
all day not just when their life is going well. 


 Here we are, in the best years of our lives, with no way of knowing when the wheel 

will stop spinning cause we don't know where we're going. And here we are, on the best day of our lives, 
and it's a go, let's make it last. So cheers you all to that, cause this moment's never coming back


 The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it

 An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.


Saying what we think gives us a wider conversational range than saying what we know.


Don't attach yourself to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention because you're lonely.
Loneliness is the human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space.
The best thing you can do is know yourself... know what you want.



Our problem is that we hate change, but love it at the same time.
What we really want is for everything to stay the same, but get better.








9.1.12

You've got to learn to push through the hard times 

because you have to face them. Running from them 

now will only make you too tired to fight through 
them when they catch up to you later.

Dream what you want to dream.  Go where you want to go.  Be what you want to be.  Because you only have one life to live and one chance to do it all.  Don't waste your life doing something not for yourself
They attack her from all sides, they strike her weakest parts, but as they wait for her to fall, they see this is only the start. She won't go down without a fight, they won't have an easy win. She'll give it all till she has nothing left and as she falls they'll see her grin.
“You think the only people who are people, 

are the people who look and think like you. 

But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
you’ll learn things you never knew.” 
- Pocahontas 

I don't get attached. I don't want a relationship unless you can prove to me you're not all the same. No, your words don't mean shit to me. No, I don't trust you. No, I don't believe you. Promises are nothing but empty words to me. I know I'm not your one and only so don't tell me I am. No, my smile doesn't make your day. No, my laughter isn't music to your ears. No, I'm not too good to be true, so start with thetruth. If I'm what you want, tell me why and tell me often. Tell me you love me, but only if you mean it.
I want to be the smile, the first thought, the long drive, or the short walk, the last voice, the random call, the laugh, the perfect kiss, the comfort hug, your second half, the sparkle in your eye, everything you need, just what you want. I want to be yours.
In the last few days you have made me feel alive

You've made me feel beautiful and intelligent and 

wanted. And no matter how hard I try, I'll never be 
able to tell you how much that has meant to me.

Life doesn't give you the people you want. It gives 

you the people you need. To help you. To hurt you

To love you. To leave you. And to make you into 
the person you were meant to be.

Always try your best to get whatever you love; 

otherwise you will be forced to love whatever you get.

But then I realized I was holding on to something that didn’t exist anymore. That the person I missed didn't exist anymore. People change. The things we like and dislike change. And we could wish all day long that they didn't, but they always will.
You are living and loving and making your mark 

on the world. Make sure to leave a mark that 

can't be easily erased.

Guys think of you as a video game. They play you and keep beating levels, but if they get mad at the game, they yell and scream at it, then eventually turn it off if it isn't going their way. And when they finally finish the game and beat the last level, they get bored and don't want to play the game anymore because there's nothing new left to do, nothing new to learn. Guys don't like a game that's easy to beat, they want a challenge, just one that's not hard enough to run down their ego.
When someone wants a boyfriend, it won't help to tell them that some don't even have parents. Just because others are starving doesn't mean you can't be hungry. Some people may be striving to live, but that doesn't mean others aren't wishing to die. Problems are relative, just because someone else's problem may be larger than yours does not mean yours don't matter.
You can say sorry a million times, say I love you as much as you want, say whatever you want, whenever or however you want. But if you're not going to prove that the things you say are true, then don't say anything at all. If you can't show it, your words don't mean a thing
If your absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present during my success
"We live in a world of worse-case scenarios. We cut ourselves off from hoping for the best, because too many times, the best doesn’t happen. But every now and then, something extraordinary occurs. And suddenly, best case scenarios seem possible. Every now and then, something amazing happens. And, against our better judgment, we start to have hope."
"I want someone to fall in love with the way I laugh and the way I smile. I want someone to listen to the ramblings of my inner child. Someone who touches my face and brushes the hair from my eyes. I want someone who loves me or at least holds me like they do. But I only want that if it’s you."
"You don't choose who you fall for, you just fall. And you get this person who is all wrong, yet so right at the same time. You know that you like them so much, except sometimes they drive youcompletely insane and no one can explain it. The reason it’s so confusing is because it’s love, and if you didn’t have any challenges, what would be the point?"
The best feeling in the world is doing something that everyone else said you couldn't.
If you're single, focus on being a better you 

instead of looking for someone better than 

your ex. A better you will attract a better next.

People are always gonna try and bring you down below them, but smile when they're staring andshow them who's strong.
For the rest of my life, I will always wonder why things seemed to be so unfair. I will always want to know what I did to deserve what happened to me. I will always wake up thinking everything's okay, later on realizing that it isn't, and that it most likely never will be. I will cry about it, and I will be angry. I will always have problems trusting people. I'll never think that anything will last. Friendships, and relationships.. all of them just seem doomed. But I still try. For the rest of my life, I will try.
You know what?  I'm proud of my heart.  It's been 

through a lot.  It's been played, cheated, burned, stabbed,

and broken, but somehow against all odds it still works.

You can be happy tomorrow. You can be happy when you get through your list of things to do. You can be happy when you meet the one. You can be happy when you get the right job. You can be happy when you get that raise. You can be happy when you stop buying the things you need and start buying the things you want. You can be happy when you retire. You can be happy when the weather suits you. You can be happy on plan. You can be happy in the rain. Or you can stop reading this, take a deep breath, and be happy right now.